I read in the Joplin Globe that someone in the Missouri legislature has submitted a bill that would ban various types of party/drinking paraphernalia including kegs, beer bongs, and mardi-gras beads on rivers in Missouri. I can’t imagine that legislation will get much traction in a state where so many people value their rights to be a redneck more than protecting natural resources like rivers. But if it did I have to admit that I would be glad. Mainly because the way I like to enjoy Missouri rivers is in total contrast to the way many Ozarkers do these days…loud, drunk, and obnoxious. This type of behavior is not allowed in city parks, state parks, or really anywhere in public, so I don’t really get why it has become acceptable to degrade a public river in such a way in the first place.

Truth be told, I honestly wouldn’t care if they banned alcohol outright because this would leave the river to those who want to actually enjoy the river itself. The rednecks and college kids can party in their trailers or frat houses to their hearts content as far as I’m concerned. Maybe a reasonable compromise where you get a maximum of say, a six pack for every 1 person on the river. It just seems unfortunate to me that the river is more about drinking than it is about the river to so many people.

Realistically I know how Missourians love their cigarettes and beer, so I think it would be unlikely to ever pass such a measure. It’s one of those things where if it hadn’t become such a mainstay for so many people, it may almost seem logical that these types of items and activities would be prohibited on rivers. But try and take it away and I’m sure rednecks will come out in droves in support of “their rights” to be irresponsible and inconsiderate. I’m just thankful that the river I most frequent does not have this problem whatsoever – probably because there are no canoe rental facilities.